he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
