i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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