What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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