If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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