Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
