My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
