Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
