I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
