Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
