He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
