in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone says I win the strip club
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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