they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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