We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Of course I have a pirate flag
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
