drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
