if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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