dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I think people are normalizing furries
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
