Duck Duck Cougar?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
