Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Randomize
