How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
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Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
50% drunk capacity currently
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How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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