I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize