Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
