Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I am one with the molecules
He literally asked permission to hit on me
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize