She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
