her vagine was all disorganized.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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