i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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