I wish I could punch you in the face.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
