But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
