Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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