Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
