The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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