There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
