You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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