Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
