I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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