i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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