how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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