I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
