dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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