My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize