I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
