i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize