hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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