dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
