Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
