I want to have your abortion
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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