So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
