Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
