The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
