Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
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