i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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