don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
