I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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