are you still at the devil's house?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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