May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Randomize
