No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I fill condoms, not promises.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize