Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize