White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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