Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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