You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
