She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
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i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
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Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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