Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
