Sponge bath it is.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
