Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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