Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
My feet surprised me
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