I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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