Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
