i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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