dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick