she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
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Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
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Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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