That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
