dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
